Stand

Do worries and anxieties keep you from enjoying life? Do you feel like you are trapped, hopeless, and alone? Well, STOP! I do not say this lightly, because I was there. I have known what it is like to be so afraid to live, that I choose not to live life. It is not the life you were created to live.

God created you to have life and have it with peace, joy, happiness. (John 10:10) Yes there will be troubles and pain that come your way, but if you believe in the One true God you do not have to worry. (John 16:33) You have the God of the universe on your side. He is there ready to send His angels to battle for you. You are not alone! (Exodus 14:14)

For too long I dwelt in the self pity party of life. I believed the lies that told me I wasn't good enough. I believed the lies that told me that God didn't care enough about my small problems to help me. Then He woke me up to the truth. I am doing a Bible study with a couple of friends right now on fear, and it has opened my eyes. I have read the scriptures we are studying many times, but they never touched my heart before, like they have now.

Let me share just one story that changed my perspective overnight this past week. In Exodus we read of the Israelites finally being led out of Egypt. No longer will they have to be slaves. As they are leaving, they come a river too big to cross. Behind them they see the Egyptian armies chasing after them. They are not coming to have a discussion. They are coming to fight. The Israelites at that moment had a choice to make; run for their lives or fight. Right? But wait, there was another choice. It's the choice that you and I always seem to forget we have. They could stand, be obedient to God, and let Him take care of the Egyptians. God had the perfect solution to their problem.

God always has the perfect solution. If the Israelites chose one of their human ways, it would have been a blood bath. But instead God delivered them in a miraculous way. He made a way for them when it appeared there was no way. He parted the waters and let them ALL cross. Then he flooded the waters again when the Egyptians, in pursuit, attempted to cross. Amazing.

I realized my life was built on the fight or flight thought. If a problem came up I went into either or those modes quickly, without thinking, and nothing was ever solved. In fact it usually got worse and I would have to make another fight or flight decision. Running never solves your problems, you just hide from them. Fighting doesn't solve anything either, and someone usually gets hurt.

Now, I choose to ask God what He would have me to do. I stand, and I wait on Him. It has only been a little over a week and I am still learning but I have to share it has been a peaceful week and I have had some hard attacks thrown at me. I did cry and have a moment of panic but it was a small moment. I didn't run or fight. I decided to go to God with it, and He is giving me the peace to stand. The storms are still going, but I know that He will calm them in His time. He has the perfect answer. I am putting my trust in Him.

 "But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out there tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!" (2 Chronicles 20:17 NLT)  

2013: A Year Without Fear.

Looking back over 2013, I realize it was a huge year for me. All of my life I had been consumed with fear. I was afraid of everything. My fear prevented me from living life to the fullest. Fear hurt my testimony as a Christian. If my God was so big and was all I claimed He was, why then, did fear rule my life? From the outside I hid it well, but those who really knew me saw it. They experienced it too. My family suffered the most from it, and it even hindered their lives.

In 2013, I decided to stop living this way. I was no longer going to let fear rule my life. It was the most rewarding year so far, and I look forward to more years like it. I made the decision that if my God is who He says He is, that I truly do have nothing to fear. I gave over my fears to Him and I lived life. What are some things I did, you may ask?

In June I took a motorcycle class with my seventeen year old son. He was afraid to ask to try because he thought we wouldn't let him. Again my fears almost prevented us from doing this together. But, I said no to fear and we took the class. I ended up having so much fun, I now own my very own motorcycle. I ride with my husband and son. We have had so many fun adventures together and made some great friends. My next goal is coming up this weekend. I am going to ride to Tortilla Flats in AZ. For those not familiar with this area its a winding road alongside a mountain with some drops along the way.

In Christmas 2012 my husband gave me the gift I've wanted since I was a little girl. My very own horse. I have been riding since I was sixteen but always had fear in me so I never truly let go and just rode. After riding with a very good friend for several months I watched how she rode. Seeing her just let go and ride, I decided to the same. I have had some of the best rides of my life. I have truly felt connected with my horse and become a better rider because of it. My goal this year is to learn to run some barrel patterns and attend a few fun events. I don't want to win a prize. Its about overcoming fears. Not worrying about going fast, or being better than someone else. Its all about getting out there and having fun.

One of the most amazing things I did, this year happened in Sedona, AZ. A few years ago my family took a trip there. My husband drove a jeep, with all of us in it, off road on the trails there. There was one part of the trail that scared me. I actually told my husband not to go down it, but he had to because there was no way to turn around. I cried, laughed in hysterics going down this area. It's called, “the Stairs.” Well, my in-laws came out this year for my husband's birthday and the one thing he wanted to do was take them on this trail. There were too many of us to fit in one jeep so not only did I have to go again, but I would have to drive it. The old me would have said no way. The new me said I will do it, but I have to admit I did it reluctantly. Well, we get out to the trails, and it was amazing. I had the most incredible time. I not only drove all the off road trails, but I also drove down the “stairs”. At the end I put up my arms and let out a scream of happiness. It was the best feeling in the world.

There is nothing that you cannot do. I know that if I can do all this anyone can. My in-laws were so amazed at the different person I was. I can truly say that it isn't me. But my God is so BIG and so amazing that in Him I truly can do anything. I also look at it this way, if anything does happen to me I am not afraid of where I will go. I know my home is in heaven. It may seem a little weird to think like that, but it helps. Life is meant to be lived and experienced. God put so many amazing things on this earth for us to see, to do, and to try. Stop saying you can't do something, and start saying with God there is nothing I can't do. Then start living!

Showing Courage Amidst Trials

We all go through hard times. We can see the road ahead of us but we can't get through this giant, immovable road block. I've been there and know I can easily be there again in life. Its how we handle this time that matters.

I have learned to look into the Word of God to find people who have gone through similar trials. I gain my hope, my encouragement from their stories. Instead of believing the lie that I am alone, I get filled with encouragement that lasts. By reading the Word I also receive nuggets of wisdom that I can use.

Just recently I read a story in the Bible that did all this for me. I read about the life of Jochebed. If you are like me you might not recognize the name but you know her story well. She is the mother of Moses. When Jochebed was pregnant with Moses her country was in chaos. It was not the time to give birth to a son. All the baby boys being born were ordered by the king to be killed. Jochebed though does not lose not worry when she gives birth to a son. She instead risks her life and keeps her son.

She hides the fact he's a boy as long as she can. When she can longer do this she then does an amazing thing. She places her faith and trust in God. Jochebed puts her baby boy in a basket and into the river. I have always missed one part. The river she puts him in is the same river that all the babies are being told by the king to be drowned in. She though puts her son in to give him life. What blind faith!

This story amazes me when I look at it from her perspective. Jochebed was faced with difficult decision after difficult decision. She had to make choices that would affect her life, her families life, and this baby's life. Not once though did she stop and get overwhelmed with worry. Not once did she give up and lose hope. She put her faith in the One who would not fail her and she trusted He would take care of everything.

Moses went on to become a great man. He was the one who led the Israelites through the desert into the Promised Land. Jochebed's other son Aaron became High Priest. Her daughter Miriam became a prophetess. Her legacy lived on through the lives of her children. Her faith led to great things. Though she did not raise Moses for long, she was with him for a short time. This should speak volumes to us and could be a whole other blog for another day.

We can learn so much from her life. When you face difficulties that seem to have no answers, put your trust in the One who will not fail you. Humans will fail you. People will hurt you, give you bad advice, but your God will not. If you turn over your troubles to Him, He can take care of them. He knows the best plan for your life, if only you will trust Him.

I have learned to go to Him first now. Whenever I face something I have no control over, instead of letting fear paralyze me at a roadblock, I go to my God and give it to Him. I have learned that He knows what is best. Even when my problems can't be fixed right away, I know its all in His timing. I know when I give it over to Him, He has the best outcome for me.

I want to encourage you today if you feel like you cannot move, that you are trapped in your trials, to go to God and just let go. Don't let fear paralyze you. Show courage amidst your trials. Put your trust in the one worthy of your trust. Read in Exodus 1 the story of Jochebed again and learn from her.

Faithful in Prayer

As I was led to study Luke 18:1 today from a sermon preached last Sunday, I finally grasped a concept.
The NIV version reads, “Then Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.” I have read this before. I have heard it growing up in church, but today it really meant something to me.

If you attended Sunday school as a child you most likely would have learned that Jesus hears our prayers. We encourage our young ones to talk to Jesus at any time, anywhere. He is always listening and always there for us. As a child that brings us comfort. I can remember being six years old and loving Jesus so much. He was my hero. I talked about him all the time, I prayed a lot, and I felt I had a best friend in Jesus. Slowly and sadly, I forgot how I first felt at six.

Today, this passage has illuminated that for me again. Recently I prayed with a group of friends and I was led to pray,” help me to believe like I did when I was six”. This morning that prayer has been answered. I truly feel in my heart again that Jesus is my hero, best friend, and that I can talk to Him all the time. I am once again comforted by these thoughts.

By reading further into Luke 18 and reading verse 8 we see that persistent prayer is counted as faith. I never saw those words before until today. Even though I knew the Parable of the Persistent Widow and knew I should pray continually, I always felt a little guilty. I felt that I was lacking faith by not believing that God would answer my prayer the first time. That was a lie I believed. The Word tells me the truth. It tells me that I should and I need to go to God my Father in prayer always, and persevere until Jesus returns.

Also how I pray is a big part of it. I need to go to Him with a joyful heart and with hope. I need to be faithful in my prayers. (Romans 12:12). I need to have confidence that if I am asking something that is in His will, that He will answer my prayer, BUT in His time. Praying in this way makes all the difference. Your heart will be right and you will feel that God-confidence rising up in you.

My prayer for you today is that this encourages you to begin praying, begin petitioning your Father in Heaven for His will in your life, and that you never give up. If you need to, find someone you trust to pray with you and encourage each other that God is hearing your prayers, and He is taking care of all you ask.

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12 NIV)

This is Me.

Today this blog is unlike any other I have written. This one is more for me than anyone else, but writing brings accountability and healing. I am almost 38 years old and I have come to the realization that I have wasted so much of my time in life consumed by fear. It has ruled my entire life for so long that I know I have missed out on some great things. Today I want that to change. I do not want fear to dictate who I am anymore.

I can remember as a young girl, around the age of 9 I think, watching a scary movie about the end times. I was so consumed with fear that I kept running to the bathroom to escape the movie, but it was playing on the loudspeakers in the bathroom. I could not eat that night and I just wanted to escape, but there was no where to escape to. That movie changed me. I went from being this innocent child in love with Jesus to fearing God and how He was going to destroy the earth. I changed that day and today I am just realizing how much.

To this day I still get the chills when I think of the end of the world. It can still cause me to have an anxiety attack. I am good at hiding it. I run to the bathroom, like I did when I was little and pretend I am sick or just hide out til it passes. I know that it has caused me to keep God at arms length and I have not grown as much as I could have. I don't want that anymore. He has called me into ministry and I need to be close to Him. I need to hear His voice and feel His full presence. Fear has to leave!

Growing up, I always worried about what other people thought of me. I didn't want anyone to not like me. It bothered me to the point where I would lie or not be myself just to have the approval of my peers. I hid who I was from my family, friends, and even myself. I was afraid to admit I liked country music because it brought on ridicule. I was afraid to admit I was a believer because my friends had strong opinions on what a "christian" was, and it was not good. I hid for so long that I lost myself.

I have been married for over 18 years now and for 18 years the fear of losing my husband has consumed me. The first 5-6 years of my marriage I spent accusing my husband of cheating on me every time he left the house. I was constantly afraid of becoming the next statistic of a failed marriage. I was heavily overweight and depressed and could not pull myself out. I started going back to church and I got better. I learned not to accuse Leo every time he walked through the door. Though, the fear of losing him still lingered. What if he woke up one day and realized what I was really like? What if he decided I wasn't worth it anymore? I had my ups and downs with weight and depression. I have wasted so many of our years together consumed by fear, and I have caused my husband more frustration and pain than I ever should have. It amazes me that he is still here. He still loves me and still wants to be with me. So for him, I am finally admitting my fear and putting it out there so that I can get rid of it once and for all.

I have been so afraid that I can't lose the rest of the weight I want that I jinx myself. Instead of being positive about losing the weight, I get wrapped up in what is not happening that I get defeated. And if any of you struggle with losing weight, feeling defeated hampers any weight loss. I make bad decisions because I already feel I failed so what's one more bad decision. Fear is a powerful thing. It prevents us (me) from having success in any area of life.

There is power in acknowledging we aren't who we appear to be. There is power in being real. By admitting it out loud, I can now clearly see the damage I have caused and see the need for change. I don't want to spend another day trapped in the fear of living life. I have lost so many years already, I don't want to lose any more. I hope that you all will not think less of me, but I cannot let my fear of approval keep me from speaking up.

I love my husband and I want to spend the rest of our lives together enjoying the time we have. I love my boys and want to do all I can to see that they develop into strong men and become all they were created to be. I love my friends and family and spending time with them. I will be me from now on when I am with them. I will lose the weight I need to and will not be afraid of failure anymore. I love my Lord, and want to fully serve Him the rest of my days. This is who I am and I am no longer afraid to be me.

I am. The Problem and the Solution.

I am. I never thought those two small words would have such an impact on me. But now hearing them makes me stop and think about everything I say, and do. I was listening to the radio on the way home from work and the DJ was sharing that he read about a question posed to people in the 1920’s. They were asked, “what is wrong with the world today”. One man wrote “I am” and sent it in. At the moment I cannot remember this man’s name but I will never forget how he answered that question.

I realized that it still rings true today. Do you remember as a child playing with your friends when you would point to your friend when asked who was in the wrong? Then the teacher or parent watching would always say, “Be careful, when you point at someone you have 4 fingers pointing back at you.” If we stop and think, this simple saying and the two words “I am” could change lives.

Instead of looking for who to blame problems on we could open our eyes and see that we are part of the problem. I have a very bad habit of opening my mouth and saying the first thing that comes out of it. And admittedly, a lot of the times it is unfiltered. I haven’t processed the whole thought yet, and so what comes out is wrong. I can make a judgment statement without even meaning to because of my need to say something. This can be dangerous, because I have a teenage son at home listening to what I am saying. He is listening to me. Luckily, I have a very sweet husband who will point out to me what I just said. This helps me decide if this is what I really want to say or if I need to correct it.

I think maybe we can all take our freedom of speech too far. If what we are saying hurts someone do we really need to say it? If we are opening our mouths and spreading hate wouldn't it be best to keep it to ourselves? The Bible has a lot to say about taming the tongue. In James 3 there are many descriptions on just how hard it is to control. James illustrates through word pictures that though the tongue is small it is powerful. With your tongue you can bless and you can curse. Be a blessing. We are suppose to love not hate.

And as I ponder these two words I also believe that they hold the answer to the problems of the world. If I am the problem then I Am is the Solution. God told Moses in Exodus, “I Am”. In the New Testament, Jesus speaks again those same words. “I Am”. God our Father in Heaven is the answer. He is the Healer, Redeemer, and ultimate Judge.

As the arms of Christ we can bring more hope and less despair, more love and less hate, more truth and less lies. I encourage you to examine your own heart today. See where you are the problem. Instead of pointing out where everyone else is the problem turn all those fingers back on you. I am.

Lift Up Your Voice

Why is it we have no problem giving our opinions on politics? When asked, or even when not asked, we share our thoughts on what we believe is right or wrong. We don't hesitate to share what is on our mind. But when it is really important we hide our faces and hope that no one sees that we are not speaking. Recently at our church we hosted a domestic violence community discussion night. I learned that for too long silence has been allowing the tragedy of domestic violence to go on.

Many times there are warning signs right in front of us. There are women, children, and men in trouble and sadly we only make time when something has happened. We often times end up offering condolences for a life taken before it should have been. We raise money to help the children left behind. What if we could do something before tragedy strikes?

We can. You and I can do what we are called to do and be the voice for those who cannot speak. We can invest our time in getting to know our neighbors. If we see something that looks suspicious, instead of making judgments or looking the other way because we feel it doesn't involve us, we can offer our ears to listen. We can be the shoulder to cry on. We can be the friend that offers to go with someone to get counseling.

It is not our job to fix the person or their problem. You aren't called to solve the issue, or even to give your opinion. You are called to love. You are called to be there for your family, friend, neighbor, or whoever God has put in your life. And I believe God has given us many talented, and knowledgeable people to help in these situations. There are people who have devoted their studies and lives to knowing how to help. One of the biggest ways you and I can help is to get to know the people at our local shelters.

Technology today gives us no excuse for saying, “I don't know how to help.” Just a few minutes of research can lead you to pages of information on the internet that you can share. Donate your time, money, and resources to a local shelter that assists families affected by domestic violence. There are so many jobs we can do. Help sort donations, file paperwork, use the talents we have been given to teach a class. The ways you and I can help are endless.

I urge you today, to look into your hearts and find the love for others. Be the voice for those who cannot speak. Help the scared and frightened find the empowerment they need. Be the hope for the hopeless. Love the unloved. Together you and I can help to win the fight against domestic violence.