Become Family

I recently watched an intense movie. It was nothing at all like I was expecting. There are two scenes that stay in mind and keep playing over and over. I will purposely not tell you the title of the movie, so hopefully I won't ruin it for you, but to write this blog I have to share the scenes. The first one shows a father and his son holding hands walking towards a ship that will save them from the end of the world. The little boy looks at his dad with tears in his eyes and asks, “why are they saying that.” There are some men who have come to escort the little boy. The dad cannot hear the men, only the son can. The dad is able to figure it out. He was not chosen to go. Only the boy who could hear these voices and was chosen. The boy does not want to leave his dad behind. He is torn. His dad though, insists his son go and tells him they will all be together again.

I watched this story and it really made me start to think. Do we all know people who we love who are not chosen? Who are not serving the Lord and when the end comes we will have to be separated from them? It should cause all of us to reach out even more. We need to do all that we can so that when the end comes our family is with us and not left behind. And if we as humans feel this strong pull, how much more does our Father and Creator long for all to choose Him. He wants all of His children to be with Him. He is holding out His hand and waiting as long as He can so that more will choose Him. His word says, He tarries not because He is unloving, but because He does not want one to perish. He is waiting for His children, to reach back and grab onto Him.

The second scene that haunts my mind, shows a family huddling together waiting to die. They know the flames are coming and they understand the truth. Now all they can do it wait for death. To me these people symbolize the people who waited to long to decide. What a horrible feeling to find the truth after it is too late. It is worse than not knowing. But I do know. I have known the truth since I was six years old. Yes, I have rebelled and tried to walk away when it hurt too much. But my heart always returns. I feel the truth inside of me and it overcomes the lies every time. It burns in me and refuses to be quenched.

So, now I know the truth, what do I do? Do I keep quiet? Do I just pray that things will change? I can't. I feel just a little bit of what our Father does. I feel the pain of those who are undecided. I grieve for them, even though they don't understand why. I long for them to see the truth and be set free. I want the scene to change for them. I want them to be holding my hand getting ready to meet our Creator. I don't want them to be left behind. I believe that is why God has me writing these blogs. I can share my faith, my feelings, and be totally honest. For those of you out there who have questions and doubts, don't give up on finding the truth. Jeremiah 29:12-14 speaks this truth. When you search for me with all your heart, you will find Me. This verse has always had a very special meaning to me because my name means seeker of Truth and this is the verse that goes with it. I was given a plaque with this at a young age and I always remember it. Seek Him with all your heart, you will not be disappointed. Don't put it off. Become a part of the family.

Unconditional Love

When you were younger did you come up with a list of what your perfect mate would be? The color of their hair or how tall they would be? I know I had a list. My sisters and I would talk about it a lot and then we would “play house” and our “perfect husbands” would be there. Almost so real you could see him. For those of you who have never done this I am sorry. You must be thinking, “Where is she going with this?” Well, I will tell you where.

At times as adults, I believe we still keep lists in our heads. We want our spouse to be just like so and so's spouse with a little of this other person's spouse. We expect them to behave in a certain way and answer all our questions they way we want them answered. I believe we put unfair demands on them in our mind, and then we get upset when we feel they failed us. But, how could they have failed us when they don't have a clue what is going on in our minds? Why do we set ourselves up for this pain time and again when we know what the results will be? I wish I had an answer for you. The best I can give is that we are human and we make mistakes. I know for me, that I like to play out the conversation in my mind so I will prepared for it and know what to say. I get nervous when I have to stop in a conversation and think. The other reason I have done it, is because I like a lot of people tend to think the grass is greener on the other side.

We don't just do this with our spouses. We do this with every person we know, and even with people we don't know. We expect our friends, family, even strangers to behave a certain way. Just like I am sure people expect us to behave in certain ways. I believe if we would all stop playing this game we could truly be real with others and they could be real with us.

In reading the Bible we are told to love one another. That is it. That is the sentence. Just love. Not change, manipulate, or control their lives. We don't need to tell others how to live their lives. It is not ours to live. To truly love someone where they are at, shows great character. No demands get in the way. There are no expectations. You won't get disappointed, because all you will be doing is loving.

We are suppose to follow the ways of Jesus. Did you ever once hear Him say I will love you if you only do this? I find the exact opposite. We are told that no matter what sin we do, He still loves us. He loves us when we don't even know Him. When we won't even acknowledge Him, He still loves us. He loves us so much in fact, that He sent His only Son down to this place to suffer and die for us. That is true unconditional love.

I would like to challenge you all to start out by loving your spouse unconditionally. Note the changes you see in yourself, and maybe even in your spouse. You will free them to be themselves. No more pretending, or walking around on egg shells. Then move on to your kids, and so on. I would love to hear from you to see how it changes your life. I will be taking the challenge right along with you.

From Hurting to Loving

Have you ever had things not go your way? Did you just want to pitch a fit and let the world know you were not happy? I think at times we all have. Let's face is the world is full of humans and we are bound to run into someone who will upset us at some point in our life. We'll get some news by phone that we just didn't want to hear. We'll go to bed at times and wish we could have a do over for the day.
So now that I have convinced you it will happen, what's next?

For me I have learned that there doesn't always have to be a next step. Just because you get upset does not mean that you have to vent it all. And also, at the same time don't walk around with a fake smile. Those closest to you will notice it. Sometimes you just need to take a time out. Think about what is really bothering you. Have you given it to God yet? Have you prayed about it? If you answer no to either of these then you should do that first, before opening your big mouth. Lessons I am learning lately. Why do we have to do something first to realize it wasn't a good idea?

The world is watching you. How you handle yourself in any given situation says a lot about who you are. Do you want people to know you as disagreeable and selfish, always having to have the last word? Or do you want people to see you as patient and in control of your emotions. Emotions aren't a bad thing as long as they are not used improperly. If you use your emotions or problems to hurt others, its wrong. You don't have to hurt someone to make a point. Words once spoken cannot be taken back. Once they leave your lips they are out there. If they are words spoken out of line, or at the wrong time they will be remembered most. Do this for a test if you don't believe me. On one side of a piece of paper write down all the things you can think of that people have said to hurt you. On the other side write down all the things people have said to encourage you. Which list is longer? If you are honest, the negative side is usually longer. Not necessarily because people have said more wrong things to you, but because there are raw emotions tied to those negative words.

And what if you are the person who has made someone else's day bad? Let's face it, not one of us is perfect, so at times we will be the one to upset others. More times than not it will be the people we love the most, too. We feel safe hurting them, because we know they will still love us. If you have hurt someone lift them back up. Apologize, and then take it one step further. Do something positive for them. Make them feel loved.

Love is the bottom line. We all want to feel accepted and loved. Treat others this way and they will want to treat you the same way. Stop abusing the ones you love and start loving them like they deserved to be loved. Start with fixing yourself, and let the others in the world do the same thing. You can't change someone with anger, but you can with love. You can make their life better.

Isn't that what Jesus did? He didn't make the prostitutes, or the tax collectors feel worthless. He showered them with love and He changed their lives. I read a fictional short story lately about a grumpy angel. He was a man who was grumpy his entire life and then given an assignment as an angel to help three people. He was really cranky at first and then he saw how the other grouchy people made others feel. His heart began to soften. He felt remorse for how he had treated his own family and became a very happy angel. God was so impressed with how much he had changed, He gave him a second chance. It was a cute little story with such a powerful message. Take your second chance now and make things right.

Surrender

If I asked you how to define surrender, how would you do it? What are the first words that come to mind? Probably something along the lines of, "put up the white flag" or "throw in the towel right"? We have been taught in our lives that surrender has a negative connotation to it. It means to give up. Doesn't sound like something we would want to do. Especially not something we would want to do voluntarily.

If however, we are to think of surrender with our faith it takes on a whole new meaning. It is the most positive thing you can do. Surrender to God. Surrender to the One who knows what He is doing, and allow Him to have control. Would you like to have less pressure? Do you want help in making the big decisions? Surrender. I am not promising it will be easy. If you are like me and have control issues it will be very hard.

Surrender can bring peace to your life. It can make you realize your true place in life. We were not meant to conquer all evil. We weren't given super human powers to be in all places, taking care of all situations. We were born with a Father who can take care of everything if we let Him. By putting your trust in God and allowing Him to lead the way, so many problems can be averted. You won't have to learn so many hard lessons. I have tried over and over to fix problems. I make them bigger and messier than when they started out. My heart might be in the right place, but that is the problem. I act with my heart and don't think. I just start doing something and sooner or later I am faced with a bigger problem. The sooner each of us learns to surrender the better it is.

You may be thinking that your life is going just fine right now. Why surrender? Well, when things start crashing down and life throws you a curve ball, don't you want to be in the correct position? Take it from someone who has been down this road many times. Being totally surrendered to God could have saved me a lot of pain. I still have issues with total surrender and am trying to let go. If you think you can fix everything and you try and fail it depletes you. And if you're stubborn like me and keep trying you get a little more depleted each time. There is no need to wear yourself out. Troubles will come. We do not live in a perfect world. Sooner or later you will need help. Its much easier to recognize that when you are in a good position.

I have made the decision to surrender all to God. I will stop trying to fix everything and allow Him to do what needs to be done. I have surrendered. I pray that you will be encouraged to do so, too. Allow Him to have His rightful place. Be a servant like you were called to be and be freed by not having to make all the decisions. Submit to God, and allow Him to show you the way. You will be able to do more for Him than you can on your own.

In the Game

Johnny looks up at the coach and says, “ Coach, coach, put me in. Come on I am ready.” The coach turns to Johnny and says, “ I am sorry, but you have not made it to all the practices this week, and you don't know the plays. I can't put you in there. You will either get hurt, or confuse the other players. I am sorry, but until you discipline yourself to make it to practices and study the plays, you can't play.”

Haven't we all been in that place before? Now, you might not have played sports, but isn't there something you would love to do but you can't? It hurts when we can't do what we want. No one likes to be told no. But sometimes we truly aren't ready for what it is we want to do.

Our walk with God can be like this. We may feel like we can take on any ministry. Which you can if you have done what it necessary to prepare. Going into a ministry takes preparation. You need to first of all know the word of God. Not everyone out there is willing to listen. There will be people who want to fight with you on what the word says. You have got to know your word. You have to study them, and be familiar with them. I understand that most of us will never be able to memorize large portions of the Bible. You do however, need to be familiar with what the Bible says.

How else do you prepare? You pray. Not just a five minute prayer. You pray continually. The Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Don't go onto the field without praying. There are some big players out there ready to tackle you. It won't be easy, no matter how much practice you have. You have to have the heart to stay in the game and be ready to fight. Prayer will help you. It will strengthen you and keep you focused.

You need to find a local church and be a part of it. This will be your biggest support. Everyone needs their supporting fans. They will be to encourage you, pray with you, and give you advice when you need it. You can't do this alone.

To be ready for ministry you have to be willing to be a team player. You have to realize that there are others working alongside you. Some of them will be strong where you are weak. Some will have more knowledge than you. You have to know your team players and be willing to work with them. More importantly you have to recognize you are all on the same team, and the goal is the same. Don't forget who the Coach is. Sometimes we tend to get out there and things are going well, and we start to let pride creep in. We can forget who the Coach is if we are not careful. God is the one calling the plays, not us. He know the game plan. He knows how we can have the victory. You have to be ready and willing to listen to the Coach. Don't go into anything blindly. Take the time to train your ears to hear the voice of God. He wants to teach you. He wants you to be able to hear Him. This is what He created you for. When you truly seek Him with all your heart, you will find Him. Then you will be ready to play in the big game.

Don't you long to hear Him say, “You are ready. Go in there and do what I taught you. Remember the plans. Stay on the right path, and victory will be ours!”

May God show you your position, and may you listen for His voice so you can be an active part of the game.

How Big is Your Faith?

I always liked to imagine that if I was in Peter's place when he stepped out of the boat, to walk to Jesus that I would have made it the whole way. Then reality hits me. Things in life happen and I want to run the other way. I want to stay in bed and pretend its all just a bad dream. But I can't do that. There are people who depend on me and I am forced to get moving. It's then I realize I don't even have faith the size of a mustard seed.

I used to think that scripture was weird. “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed you can move that mountain.” Surely everyone that calls themselves a Christian has faith bigger than that right? Why aren't mountains moving? Again reality hits and it all makes sense.

When something bad happens what's the first thought that comes into our heads? If we are honest more than likely its, “Why didn't God step in?” “Where is He anyway?” Our questions show our lack of faith. We don't even think it may be our own fault. How much time do I devote to God? How much do I really put into the relationship? If I do spend a lot of time with God then I would recognize that its not in His nature to watch His children suffer. He allows us to go through things so that we will spend more time with Him and searching for Him. He wants our lives to shine for Him. When we stop shining, He allows things to happen to get us back on track. Let's face it. This world we live in is not our home. Its a temporary place filled with disappointments, hurt, and sin. We have joy at times, it's not all gloomy. But we will never truly feel at home this side of heaven.

Getting back to our faith. Could you just imagine if we all could somehow attain faith the size of a mustard seed. Have you seen a mustard seed? If not, check it out. One tiny mustard seed is not big at all. If we all could have that kind of faith, even in the tough times, mountains would be moving.

Imagine the difference we could all make. If we could actually show God's power in our lives. If people saw that power we wouldn't be begging others to attend church with us for special events. We would have trouble finding space to fit everyone, because they would all want what we have.

Miracles would be happening more, people would be kinder to one another. The sick would get the help they need. People would be taking in the homeless. Debts would get paid. We would be a family instead of everyone out for themselves. It would be the closest thing to heaven on earth if we all stepped up to the plate. You may be thinking, “I don't know what I can do.” Or, “But you don't know what I am going through.” That may be true. We all go through things though. Paul was flogged and left for dead. Stephen was actually stoned to death. Many disciples were beaten and died martyr's death. There are still Christians today being persecuted and killed. Death does not scare them away from helping. Many are reaching out to strangers in a foreign land. People put their lives on the line for someone they never met, just to get the chance to help them. How do they do this? They have faith. Are they super human? No, they just believe the Word of God and live their lives like they do. I want to have faith like that. That is where I want to go. Are there obstacles in my way? Of course. But when I get that faith as big as a mustard seed, those mountains will come crashing down. I pray the same will happen for all of you.

Being a good Wife

As a little girl I knew I always wanted to be a wife and a mother. I played house a lot and always dreamed of the day I would have my own family. I started babysitting at age 11 and loved spending time with the kids. As a little girl though and even in to my adult years though I didn't fully understand what it meant to be a good wife.

You all have heard the saying we marry our husbands hoping to change them. We go into the marriage feeling confident enough we can get our man to do what we want. The focus is all on us. He needs to make me happy. He needs to be like so and so's husband. The lists go on and on in our head and we start building up the dream man. We totally lose focus on what it is to be a wife. I know this. I failed miserably at being a wife for the longest time in my marriage. Even after I returned to God and to church I still acted to selfishly. If something wasn't going well my answer was always maybe we should just call it quits and get a divorce. Or we need to go talk to someone about our marriage. I am embarrassed at my behavior. Why I am sharing all this then? Because I know I can't be the only wife out there that feels like this. And I hope that if a younger wife or someone thinking about getting married will learn from my mistakes.

Husbands need to know we will be there for them no matter what. When we take our vows in front of our family, friends, and most importantly God we need to listen to what we are saying. Don't just repeat the words so that you will be married. Listen to your vows and take them seriously. You are promising to be by your husbands side through the good times and the bad. When there is money and when you are broke. When you healthy and if one of you were to get sick. You are promising to love only him, be with only him, and honor him. And for how long? Until he does something that makes you upset? Until you find someone “better”? No, until death do you part. You are promising to be with him until you draw your last breath.

When we think of our husbands we think of them being strong and confident. We don't realize we can crush them. And even little things add up after a while. Have you ever gone to a party and just had to tell your friends about this crazy thing your husband did? Did you ever glance at his face? He may be laughing but deep down you just hurt him. How would we feel if our husbands did that to us. We would give them the glare of death and they would know they would be in trouble.

We as women know the power we have over our husbands and we need to stop playing games with it. We need to build our husbands up. We need to let them know each and every day that we love them and are there for them no matter what. They need to know that there is nothing they can do that will ever disappoint us so much that we give up on them. Isn't this our Christ loves us. Can't we mess up time and again and He still forgives us? If we can practice forgiving others so well, why can't we forgive our husbands? We want to be forgiven don't we? Because we as wives make mistakes too. In a marriage there are two people. If a marriage fails its not one person's fault. It takes two to make a marriage and it also takes two to destroy one.

If you don't know where to begin read Proverbs 31. Here is what a wife should look like. Start listening to how you talk to your husband. Build him up. Let him know that you are there no matter what. Let him know how much you love him. Take care of the house. Make it look nice so when he comes home he sees your love in action. Prepare him his favorite meal out of the blue not just on birthdays. When he has to go on trips let him know how much you will miss him. Allow him to have his place in the house. God put man over woman in the house. He is to be head of the household. Let him be. Stop trying to control everything. Pray for your husband on a daily basis. Ask God to give you a scripture to pray over him. Be there for him.

It has taken me many years and tears to learn this. Don't take so long in finding it out. Save both of you some heartache and be the wife you have been called to be.