Being a good Wife

As a little girl I knew I always wanted to be a wife and a mother. I played house a lot and always dreamed of the day I would have my own family. I started babysitting at age 11 and loved spending time with the kids. As a little girl though and even in to my adult years though I didn't fully understand what it meant to be a good wife.

You all have heard the saying we marry our husbands hoping to change them. We go into the marriage feeling confident enough we can get our man to do what we want. The focus is all on us. He needs to make me happy. He needs to be like so and so's husband. The lists go on and on in our head and we start building up the dream man. We totally lose focus on what it is to be a wife. I know this. I failed miserably at being a wife for the longest time in my marriage. Even after I returned to God and to church I still acted to selfishly. If something wasn't going well my answer was always maybe we should just call it quits and get a divorce. Or we need to go talk to someone about our marriage. I am embarrassed at my behavior. Why I am sharing all this then? Because I know I can't be the only wife out there that feels like this. And I hope that if a younger wife or someone thinking about getting married will learn from my mistakes.

Husbands need to know we will be there for them no matter what. When we take our vows in front of our family, friends, and most importantly God we need to listen to what we are saying. Don't just repeat the words so that you will be married. Listen to your vows and take them seriously. You are promising to be by your husbands side through the good times and the bad. When there is money and when you are broke. When you healthy and if one of you were to get sick. You are promising to love only him, be with only him, and honor him. And for how long? Until he does something that makes you upset? Until you find someone “better”? No, until death do you part. You are promising to be with him until you draw your last breath.

When we think of our husbands we think of them being strong and confident. We don't realize we can crush them. And even little things add up after a while. Have you ever gone to a party and just had to tell your friends about this crazy thing your husband did? Did you ever glance at his face? He may be laughing but deep down you just hurt him. How would we feel if our husbands did that to us. We would give them the glare of death and they would know they would be in trouble.

We as women know the power we have over our husbands and we need to stop playing games with it. We need to build our husbands up. We need to let them know each and every day that we love them and are there for them no matter what. They need to know that there is nothing they can do that will ever disappoint us so much that we give up on them. Isn't this our Christ loves us. Can't we mess up time and again and He still forgives us? If we can practice forgiving others so well, why can't we forgive our husbands? We want to be forgiven don't we? Because we as wives make mistakes too. In a marriage there are two people. If a marriage fails its not one person's fault. It takes two to make a marriage and it also takes two to destroy one.

If you don't know where to begin read Proverbs 31. Here is what a wife should look like. Start listening to how you talk to your husband. Build him up. Let him know that you are there no matter what. Let him know how much you love him. Take care of the house. Make it look nice so when he comes home he sees your love in action. Prepare him his favorite meal out of the blue not just on birthdays. When he has to go on trips let him know how much you will miss him. Allow him to have his place in the house. God put man over woman in the house. He is to be head of the household. Let him be. Stop trying to control everything. Pray for your husband on a daily basis. Ask God to give you a scripture to pray over him. Be there for him.

It has taken me many years and tears to learn this. Don't take so long in finding it out. Save both of you some heartache and be the wife you have been called to be.