Unconditional Love

When you were younger did you come up with a list of what your perfect mate would be? The color of their hair or how tall they would be? I know I had a list. My sisters and I would talk about it a lot and then we would “play house” and our “perfect husbands” would be there. Almost so real you could see him. For those of you who have never done this I am sorry. You must be thinking, “Where is she going with this?” Well, I will tell you where.

At times as adults, I believe we still keep lists in our heads. We want our spouse to be just like so and so's spouse with a little of this other person's spouse. We expect them to behave in a certain way and answer all our questions they way we want them answered. I believe we put unfair demands on them in our mind, and then we get upset when we feel they failed us. But, how could they have failed us when they don't have a clue what is going on in our minds? Why do we set ourselves up for this pain time and again when we know what the results will be? I wish I had an answer for you. The best I can give is that we are human and we make mistakes. I know for me, that I like to play out the conversation in my mind so I will prepared for it and know what to say. I get nervous when I have to stop in a conversation and think. The other reason I have done it, is because I like a lot of people tend to think the grass is greener on the other side.

We don't just do this with our spouses. We do this with every person we know, and even with people we don't know. We expect our friends, family, even strangers to behave a certain way. Just like I am sure people expect us to behave in certain ways. I believe if we would all stop playing this game we could truly be real with others and they could be real with us.

In reading the Bible we are told to love one another. That is it. That is the sentence. Just love. Not change, manipulate, or control their lives. We don't need to tell others how to live their lives. It is not ours to live. To truly love someone where they are at, shows great character. No demands get in the way. There are no expectations. You won't get disappointed, because all you will be doing is loving.

We are suppose to follow the ways of Jesus. Did you ever once hear Him say I will love you if you only do this? I find the exact opposite. We are told that no matter what sin we do, He still loves us. He loves us when we don't even know Him. When we won't even acknowledge Him, He still loves us. He loves us so much in fact, that He sent His only Son down to this place to suffer and die for us. That is true unconditional love.

I would like to challenge you all to start out by loving your spouse unconditionally. Note the changes you see in yourself, and maybe even in your spouse. You will free them to be themselves. No more pretending, or walking around on egg shells. Then move on to your kids, and so on. I would love to hear from you to see how it changes your life. I will be taking the challenge right along with you.